Saturday, September 20, 2008 @2:17 AM
So, today passed by in a flash... Okay not really :/ But it happened all too quickly, which truely proves that i cant think nor work well under pressure :/ I was still sleeping, okay slacking in bed when my phone rang about 1 plus in the afternoon. It was from the promoters company i worked for & the guy, Ivan, told me that he has this offer down at Suntec City for Pokka, 3days duration. I guess i should be happy to be like offered a job so i can earn some cash huh :/ But the problem was that i start work today ! As in immediately ! Like so last minute can ? :/ I was really really really reluctant to work cos i've already made mental plans for today & that like
" Hello ? I'm still sleeping !!! " I tried to push it away O_O But he's so persistant ! I guess he was really desperate D: Like couldnt find anyone sooooo last minute to accept his offer D: &, I'm not good in saying
"No" ): So in the end, i accepted his offer reluctantly ): Its such a bore working as a promoter you know :/ Theres not much people you could talk to and you stand all day with this smile that has gone hard after so many hours of constant smiling :/ So anw, I went to prepare for work :/ Lucky i still had my stupid Pokka shirts with me :/ But i hate short shirts :/ The shirts are like so short D: I feel so uncomfortable in them :/ & I have to live thru this almost unbearable uncomfort-ness the entire day ! ): Another thing to totally put me in a lousy mood huh :/ But anw, after i prepared, i took a cab down to Suntec :/ The company will pay for it of cos.... But yes, now stupid EeHwan forgot to ask the Taxi Uncle for receipt -.- How to claim ?! URGH. Like $10.60 ?! URGH. Clever me.... -.- Urgh. I havent even started working & i've already like wasted money =.= Then i started work lah, the people there are so much more friendlier compared to the ones at Vivo, Giant :/ & i dint have a stupid cart so it was good. I just got this table. & theres lesser pressure working there. Theres no one breathing down yr neck or like looking at every single thing you do. Theres no one staring at every step & move you take. Theres in a way, more freedom. Which was really good & enjoyable for me. & the people are really much more friendlier. Like very friendly. There were like so many promoters there O_O I was even thinking if like there were more staff than shoppers. Ha :D So anw, i started work, everything was pretty much the same. The inside of Carrefour worked similarly to Giant, since they are both supermarkets i guess :/ So i dint felt like a total noob :D But the better thing about Carrefour besides the friendlier staffs & enviroment, was that the guard is always there at the door ! & the door is always open :D So you can leave right on the dot. Not having to waste time waiting for the guard to reappear & open the door for you -.- Unlike dumb giant -.- Like being kept prisoners or smth D: Dumb,.
All in all, today was pretty boring but not those boring that'll drive you insane kind D: It was a Friday plus its like in Suntec, so there werent much shoppers. So there werent much people i could offer samples too :/ I drank half a can myself D: Ha, i was really thirsty ! & it was already time for me to leave D: It wasnt as bad i thot it was, it was pretty nice actually (:
Oh, & i nearly forgot. I met this 18 years old girl, also a promoter in the same company but working for Fruit Tree, like C. Okay, irritated. The Fruit Tree shirt is like so much nicer lah ! The Pokka shirt is G-R-O-S-S & ! Its collar is so tight, i always feel like im gna choke soon or smth D: Roar D: *Breathe-in, Breathe-out* Anw, so the girl is really nice, pretty, tall, slim & pretty (: I like her (: But i hadnt had the chance to ask her name thou :/ Prolly i'll get the chance tmrl or smth (: She's really friendly, easy to talk to, english speaking & has this really nice smile where her eyes becomes a line (: Just like Shan's ! :D
Yeah, so i start work tmrl at 1pm again -.- B-O-R-I-N-G ): Someone, pay me a visit ? ): I guess i better sleep soon. I've a feeling i'll get lost tmrl.... In that stupid big building :/ Ha, so un-street-wise O_O Street Noob ? Is that how its suppose to be called ? : P Ha, Nights people (:
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I hate the fact that things arent going the way i wanted it to be.I hate the fact that i'm always broke ):I hate the fact that i'm sinking into that black hole deeper & deeper each day.I hate the fact that i know i'm sinking but i cant do anything to pull myself out.I hate the fact that i'm allowing myself to sink.I hate the fact that nobody sees me.I hate the fact that i'm invisible.I hate the fact that i'm so unnoticable.I hate the fact that i'm always in other's shadows.I hate the fact that i'm so incapable.I hate the fact that i'm so turned off by myself.I hate the fact that i can no longer smile at myself in the mirror the way i used to in the past.I hate the fact that my earphones are my only escape from myself.I hate the fact that i have such low self-esteem.I hate the fact that i have no self-confidence.I hate the fact that how my LGM always escapes.I hate the fact that i can no longer look at you & feel that comfort i used to get.I hate the fact that i'm no longer in control of my mind, my heart.I hate the fact that i no longer know the reasons for my actions.I hate the fact that i always stare into the dark, every night. Unable to fall asleep.I hate the fact that i am how i am.I hate the fact that my life is now only a shade of black to me.I hate the fact that smiling has now become a mask on my face.I hate the fact that ): has become my most used emoticon.I hate the fact that i have so many hateful facts about myself. I hate the fact that i'm able to think of more hateful facts i hate about myself every passing second.I hate the fact that this list of hateful facts isnt going to end soon.I hate the fact that i'm making a mental record of this list in my mind now.I hate the fact i'm still adding on to this hateful list.I hate the fact that this is all that feels my mind these days.I hate the fact that i'm so pathetic.I hate the fact that i'm so useless.I hate the fact that im so unsatisfied.I hate the fact that im so greedy.I hate the fact that i envy others.I. Hate. The. Fact. That. I. Hate. Myself (:
